8 weeks sober

8 weeks sober

Hiking the Lone Star Trail

The beginning was the hardest. I shared the below at 8 weeks sober on November 12th, 2016.

These past 8 weeks have been far from easy. Incredibly challenging to say the least. I have passed what I hope, was the craving phase... the desire to alter my mind or craving for the bubbly hops/oak-barrel flavor/dry tannins (whatever it may be) has dissipated. I am in what I call now the re-learning phase. 

Relearning life being sober. Sitting at a bar/restaurant after I have long eaten my food gets incredibly old incredibly fast as I drink my off-tasting soda water with a browning lime only waiting for my next off-tasting soda water with a super hard dry lime. 

Socializing is more difficult. My anxiety arises more often as I am off my medication(s) as well. People I don't know scare me and I really despise uncomfortable small talk (even with people I do know). Being out in the "real" world is a bit scary right now.

Relationships are also changing. A few have evolved and/or are evolving to much better and greater things. Some are fading. It is what it is going to be (I guess?). I was warned by a few people that this is one of the most challenging parts of becoming sober. 

I do have bad days, and some horrible days but I can now tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and I can restart from scratch. The good days are amazing and well worth it. I wake up when the sun comes up and pretty much get ready for bed when the sun goes down. 

I no longer want a glass of wine (or bottle) before bed, but instead, I drink my relaxation or anti-stress tea. Oh how much I have fallen in love with blends of teas (and kombucha!) I am finally truly discovering myself. I am happier and also the most clear-headed I have ever been in my life. Discovering how to deal with my feelings and emotions is going to continue to take time, but I'm doing my best with what I have... as again, I am relearning living life.