Tuning Within
This year, for me, has been a lot about my spiritual growth and tuning within. Ever since I was young, I looked to others for my direction. From the very beginning of how to play and make friends, to how to talk, to dress, to do my hair, my makeup, activities, hobbies, from what and how much to eat, to boyfriends, jobs, school, drinking/drugs, marriage, kids or no kids, etc. the list could go on and on. I looked to everyone for my direction, except within myself. Social media, as possibly you can relate, has made this even more challenging. Now we have the ability and endless shares to see what everyone else is doing in their lives, altering consciously or subconsciously what it is we truly want, truly need, or who we truly are on the inside.
Through my sobriety and the growth that has come along with it, I have realized I am my own being. I have learned to give myself the love I need instead of looking outward. This year, I stopped looking to others for direction. Back in late winter, or early spring, I took a six-week break from social media. This was kind of a big deal for me. I decided to set an intention that I would utilize this outlet only for my blog and positive shares to lift others around me. Eventually, I found myself mindless scrolling once again, wishing my hair was longer, that I had different clothes, or was doing something else with my life other than what I was currently doing. I was wrapped up yet again. The posts I was posting were no longer in alignment with the intention I had set a few months prior. I eventually began to feel lost yet again in my own direction and who I was supposed to be or where I was going.
After coming back from an enlightening yoga retreat in Costa Rica and beginning a fall rejuvenation program with my school, Kerala Ayurveda Academy, I decided it was time to cleanse. It was time to cleanse my body via foods and herbs, and also to cleanse my soul and other areas of my life which had accumulated toxins. (toxins – something that of a foreign entity and does not align or belong).
We often get wrapped up in not knowing who we are or where we are to be headed. Social media often makes us believe we should be doing something other than what we presently are. The thing is, we have forgotten how to check in with our own selves. We have forgotten what it is like to slow down, to quiet the world around us, and ask ourselves “Is this what I (emphasis on I) want to be doing?” Not what a family member may have suggested years ago that keeps repeating in our heads, not what a partner or a friend may have said, and not what the media has told us where we “should” be at any specific time in our lives. We often get so wrapped up in all of this that our own voice gets drowned out to the point that we no longer know how to tune within and hear what it is we truly need and desire. We forget who we are.
The world we currently live in is vastly changing around us, and at a much faster pace than what we can keep up with (or are supposed to keep up with). Technology, being the most dynamic and influential change in our lives at this time keeps us constantly connected or in touch via social media, text/call, ability to research, etc. We need to make sure we step back from time to time and acknowledge and check that we are not getting swallowed up by the influences outside of ourselves.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable in any aspect of your life lately, I encourage you to stop and pause for a moment. Take a step back and really tune within. Slow down, get a journal out, meditate, and ask your own self – “is this what I want?” – “Does this make ME happy?” If the answer is no, then simply acknowledge and redirect where it is your heart is leading you to go. We all have the answers within us. We ultimately know the direction we need to go.
May we all know our true selves. May we all be happy and free.
Love. Light. & Health. - Renee
